Should I be embarrassed to have my house

Not embarrassing: why you should definitely travel with your parents

As a child, I always wanted a completely normal family. Happy married parents, a house with a garden and a dog. Just what was quite normal for many of my school friends in the posh Berlin district of Grunewald. Mama met my father in the trendy soft rock café in West Berlin in the late 1970s. My father was a DJ at the time, mom was studying medicine. “I knew the bartender and he knew Harald. I thought he was so cute, he looked good, your father. And then my friend introduced us to each other and we sat together at the bar for a long time after the shop had already closed. He actually moved in with me straight away, ”Mom once told me.

My father was already a cool sock. My nightlife history cannot keep up with what he experienced back then on the nights in West Berlin. David Bowie and Iggy Pop hung out in the West Berlin clubs where he was playing at the time, such as the aforementioned Soft Rock Café and Tolstefanz. Nick Cave liked to be seen in Slumberland.

It wasn't long before my sister Sarah was born. I got there two and a half years later. But nothing came of my dream of an intact family world, and my parents separated. I'm really grateful to them for never hating each other. However, we were further away than ever from my childhood dream of a completely normal family with a house and a dog. Then there was the sometimes unconventional behavior of my parents.

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As a child, I was often embarrassed by my parents - although other kids always thought they were cool and I secretly thought they were too. My father likes to shout something to strangers on the street. After the fall of the Berlin Wall, when the Ku’damm was parked with Trabbis and the East Berliners were looking at the West, he was happy to comment on what was happening. “Nice here with us, isn't it?” He laughed and shouted to a completely bewildered man from his old blue Benz. He likes to do something like that today and is happy when people are briefly perplexed. When I ask him what this is about, he usually replies that he is talking. Mama and her friends Elli and Brigitte liked to head a bottle of champagne in the evening, then put on a record and the three of them danced through the living room with expansive movements. I would have loved to sink into the ground in front of my friends. At dinner, Mama preferred to talk about things from the operating room.

But precisely because they were so young and casual, my friends always found my parents good. While many fathers sat together with their mothers at the barbecues at my elementary school in cloth trousers, sailing shoes and polo shirts with a glass of wine, my dad came to the school party in lederhosen and a Hawaiian shirt, told us children scary stories and was up for fun. And mom? She made the most beautiful trips with us, forced us to run through the forest with her in all weathers and let us have our quirks and little adventures that one experiences as a child, like sailing on a styrofoam plate over an oversized puddle, for example . Child fell in the new pants? No problem. In retrospect, I can say that I had a great childhood even without the three H’s - wedding, house and dog.

How my parents survived puberty with us sisters - especially with me - I still do not understand. Maybe, despite the teenage nightmare, we have a good relationship today because we're all pretty good at forgiving.

The fear of traveling with parents

Nevertheless, I shied away from going on vacation with my parents for a while. Slipping back into the role of the child, unable to follow my routine? Heavy. When my father surprised my sister and me with plane tickets to Thailand at Christmas, I was really happy. And I was not disappointed. Although my parents have both become serious today, they are certainly not boring. I was able to see this for myself on vacation with my father in Thailand. And during a couple of unforgettable trips with mom, I realized how special my parents are - and how young they are.

Keep it Thai style

Pretty much the first thing my Thailand-experienced father organized in Hua Hin was a scooter. I had no idea what to do with a single scooter. Neither Sarah nor I dared to cruise through Hua Hin on a scooter ourselves. "How do you imagine that now?" I asked my father critically when he was beaming like a honey cake horse and with a helmet on his head that was much too small (after all, he was wearing one, I would also give him an incorrigible "I don't need a helmet “Trust) got off his scooter. Somehow he looked like a little boy who finally got the toy that he had to wait forever for.

"How do we do that?" He replied to me. “Thai style!” He beamed happily into the petrified faces of his daughters. Silence. “Thai style?” Sarah and I broke out in a chorus. “Yes, Thai style. Three of us, the three of us on the scooter ”. Silence.

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In retrospect, I don't remember how we did it, but we had made the impossible possible and rode the scooter as a three - neither of us is Thai-style in terms of physique. Me in front, our father in the middle, Sarah like a spider monkey in the back. I've rarely had so much fun!

He quickly took for granted that Sarah and I went to a Thai massage at least twice a day and spent hours basking through the beauty temples and the well air-conditioned shopping palaces, because on the one hand we felt like doing it and on the other hand couldn't cope with the oppressive heat . Whenever we sisters fell for the sweet sound of "massage, massage" from some Thai massage parlor, my father would sit on his scooter, dash through the alleys, often indulging himself with a glass noodle salad, which he also ordered Thai style, so extra spicy. He then crushed it with a red head: "Old manager, is that hot"! Then he just looked enthusiastically at the hustle and bustle and was happy about the Thai lifestyle. No question about it, the vibes were contagious to him, my father was hard to stop despite over 40 degrees and extreme humidity.

The only brakes were Sarah and I, because on some days we had to struggle with our circulatory system. The three of us turned night into day and strolled through the markets in the evening. In the middle of the night after a stroll, we sat next to each other with a foot massage, and let the Thais laughing at us work the reflex points with a wooden clapper, squeaking in pain. The visit "to the blind", as my father just called the blind masseurs of a highly acclaimed Thai massage parlor, ended for Sarah and me with a feeling similar to severe muscle soreness and for my poor father with a shoulder so painful that his shoulders Arm couldn't lift for the next two weeks.

About my 30th birthday we drove further south, but not Thai style on the scooter, but quite normally in the rental car. My father had meanwhile bought a straw hat that he always wore when he wasn't wearing his beloved helmet. In a godforsaken fishing village, we rented a hotel in the middle of a palm grove. I took my birthday cake made of pink dough (Thai style?) In the pool. Later I was able to meditate away my panic of the big 30 in a breathtakingly beautiful temple. The last stop of the trip then took us to Bangkok.

One night in Bangkok

The heat in the metropolis was brutal. If there were a superlative for the word heat, it would have to be increased tenfold. While Sarah was no longer usable and she dragged herself into an air-conditioned beauty salon to have her eyelashes lengthened despite the criticism of our completely uncomprehending father, I made it with the last of my strength on a tourist boat. In the wooden boat we then sailed across the raging Chao Praya and looked at the city from the water. There he was sitting next to me on the boat, drenched in sweat, but still with that honey cake horse beam, his straw hat on his head. What fun we had. We sacred every wave that splashed us with water, and we agreed that it was good to brave the heat. Get out of the Comfort zone, into the adventure.

We met my sister in the hotel that evening. With spider-leg-like artificial eyelashes. My father saved the comment, his look said more than a thousand words. "I think they're beautiful", Sarah finished the non-verbal discussion about the strange spider eyelashes with a pout. A few years earlier my father had had a similar discussion with Sarah on a trip to Thailand with Sarah. Back then it was about extensions that she wanted a lady boy to weld into her hair. “They're orange,” he said at the time, just as incomprehensible. They were too. Incidentally, I found the orange tuft of hair a few years ago in Sarah's bathroom, whereupon she had shaken and told me the story of a fit of laughter.

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In the evening we went over the completely crazy Khao San Road, where you can get everything the human heart desires. But we didn't need a diving, boat or driving license or an identity card. We petted disguised and perfectly coiffed dogs (Thai style), ate fresh mangoes and spicy curries from the street food stall and then sat down exhausted in a bar where a band played old hippie classics. Visibly moved, my father sang with us, told us about his wild youth, took us in his arms and once again showed his most beautiful honey cake horse rays. Thai style!

Mom, shall we go away together again?

My boyfriend likes to lie on the beach when on vacation. If it were up to him, he would lie motionless on his towel for two weeks. Sunbathing, looking for food, sleeping - the essentials. I, on the other hand, love to hike, like to be on the beach, but also like to be active. In my mother I have found the perfect ally for short trips. While as a child I hated being chased into nature by her in all weathers instead of lounging comfortably in front of the TV, I am grateful to her today for the drill. Because without her I would never have developed such a deep love for nature.

Traveling with mom was never my first choice because of the above-mentioned feeling of feeling a little like the dependent child again. But today I know that a vacation with mom is something great. She neither stresses me out when I stand too long in the shower in our main holiday apartment ("Oh, enjoy it. You are on vacation and you have to enjoy such a nice shower"), nor does she complain when I spend hours shopping in beauty run, because meanwhile she does excessive kitchen and bathroom utensil shopping and a full refrigerator with goodies is always ensured thanks to her. Naturally organic, typically mom.

And if I want to do a lap on my own, that's totally okay, because you need that sometimes and mom knows exactly where to go when I want to be alone. Spontaneous activities such as nocturnal hikes to marvel at the full moon or a quick trip to the beach to watch the sunset armed with a rosé are also typical mum.

Dream team on tour

Just like in the past, today it is not afraid of any weather for outdoor activities. We climbed to a castle together during the heat wave in 2015 at almost 40 degrees, when we reached the top we let the hot wind blow dry, let our heads blow free on the pier on the Baltic Sea during a strong storm and danced together The Rolling Stones concert in Hamburg late into the night. In Wismar, she once made me and my dog ​​wait for a good half an hour in front of the cog, a historic merchant ship. When it got too stupid for me and I thought something might have happened to her, I took my dog ​​on the ship despite the dog ban - only to find mom below deck. Flirting with the captain. In any case, I assume that she is, she denies it to this day, but admits that the capt'n was charming after all. Mummy!

Vacation with parents

What we've already experienced together are moments that carry me to this day and it's not uncommon for mom and I to reminisce together. My mother then likes to put on the Stones, open one of her numerous rosé bottles and encourage us daughters to drink wine with her. Then she raves about the Stones like a teenager and infects everyone again with her life-affirming nature. But she no longer expects us to perform expansive dance movements, as we did with Elli and Brigitte back then.

Through our travels together I got to know my parents from another side - and above all, I got to appreciate them. They are much more than parents, they are also wonderful friends, people with dreams and longings and just wonderful personalities. I can really only recommend venturing out on an adventure holiday with your parents.