What is the psychology of the feeling of separation

Lovesickness - The four phases of separation pain

Lovesickness feels like losing the ground beneath your feet. You are in free fall. From one moment to the next, nothing is the same as it was before, and that Emotional chaos plays through almost the entire range.

1. Fears and premonitions

A relationship slowly comes to an end and you can feel that a separation will be inevitable, one is already plagued by fears of loss in advance. That is quite natural and, unfortunately, inevitable. Nevertheless, one can counteract bad premonitions and diffuse fears by doing that as soon as possible clarifying conversation with the partner seeks. That can lead to breaking up faster, but at least you are freed from the limbo of ignorance and waiting.

2. Shock and paralysis

The moment the separation becomes a fact, it tears the rug from under the feet of the abandoned.

It sets a kind Paralysis a, Despair spreads. At this stage, many do not yet realize what has just happened. They live like in a bubble. In the best case scenario, they can pursue their day-to-day obligations simply by functioning; in the worst case scenario, nothing works. Very often those affected in shock are also unable to Accept separation.

3. Grief and struggle

Then the phase of deep grief begins, which can even lead to depression. The affected person realizes the separation, feels lonely, worthless and abandoned. Grief, Separation pain and disappointment - as terrible as they feel - are important and correct emotions after a breakup. There is little point in suppressing them, because then they will make room at a later point in time. To live through these feelings and them to accept, is very important for successfully processing a breakup.

Quite a few abandoned people mobilize their strength again and try to fight for the relationship again. People who do that have that End of relationship not yet accepted.

But even if the attempt to win back the loved one fails, the will to fight at least mobilizes energy that can prevent depression.


4. Anger and letting go

Long after a breakup, a lonely one can be a big one Anger make it wide. Anger at the ex-partner or anger at yourself, anger about "lost time". Many of those affected manage to do this To direct anger in the positive and to devote oneself to changes or new tasks. The perfect conditions for one Restart.

When anger only occasionally surges to the surface and the person concerned sometimes looks wistfully back at the past of the relationship, one slowly arises again inner harmony a.

The present is experienced positively.

Even if the heartache is still noticeable every now and then, the time of violent emotions and despair is finally over and the The future with all its possibilities is gaining importance again.

Even if everyone is different with Lovesickness around, the emotional phases we go through during this are almost always the same. Of course, it also depends on whether a breakup comes as a surprise or has clearly emerged. But we all react the same to the loss of a loved one. And it is comforting: everyone has experienced and overcome it before.

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