Programmers are logicians

14 jokes that only intelligent people can understand

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Jokes that only intelligent people can understand require you to think outside the box. While some simply lack the patience or leisure for this, others love puzzles. The greater the joy in it. We'll show you jokes for which you simply need a little more brainpower ...

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

Intelligent people have a sense of humor

Let's be honest: there is a little glee in each of us. That's why we're so happy when we understand a joke while others are still brooding. What constitutes humor for intelligent people? Quite clearly: you need a little more than just the usual everyday knowledge. For example, you can recognize analogies and have expertise in some areas. And you can test that right here ...

Jokes that only intelligent people can understand

  1. I have kleptomania, but when it gets too strong I just take something for it.
  2. Have you heard of the new 1023 MB volume? They haven't had any gigs yet.
  3. Heisenberg was very quick. The police stop him and say: "Did you have any idea how fast you were traveling?" Heisenberg replies: "No, but I knew where I was."
  4. What is the difference between an etymologist and an entomologist? The etymologist knows the difference.
  5. Two computer scientists make a phone call: “How's the weather like with you?” “Capslock!” “Huh?” “Shift infinite!”
  6. When I heard that oxygen and magnesium had something to do with each other, I just thought: "OMg".
  7. A Roman goes into the bar, sticks out two fingers and says: "Five beers please!"
  8. A programmer is asked by his wife: “Please go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If the eggs have, bring a dozen. ”The programmer comes back with 12 loaves of bread.
  9. How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? - A fish.
  10. A neutron comes into a bar. Says the bouncer: "Sorry - only for invited guests!"
  11. A linguistics professor said during a lecture: “In the German language, a double negative is positive, but in some other languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still negative. But in no language in the world can a double affirmation express something negative. "Then a voice sounds from the back of the room:" Yes, exactly. "
  12. Two women go to a bar and talk about the Bechdel test.
  13. Pavlov is sitting in a bar and enjoying a beer. Suddenly a phone rings, he jumps up and shouts: "Shit, I forgot to feed the dog."
  14. A mathematician introduces himself as a logician in a bar. The other asks:
    "Logician? What is that?"
    "Okay, I'll explain: Do you have an aquarium?"
    "Yes."
    "Then there are sure to be fish in there!"
    "Yes."
    "If there are fish in there, then you will surely like animals too."
    "Yes."
    If you like animals, you also like children. "
    "Yes."
    "If you like children, then you must have some ..."
    "Yes."
    "If you have children, you also have a wife."
    "Yes."
    "When you have a wife, you love women."
    "Yes."
    "If you love women, you don't love men!"
    "Logical!"
    "If you don't love men, then you are not gay!"
    "That's right ... madness!"
    The mathematician leaves and a friend of his "learned pupil" comes:
    "You, I have to tell you something: I just met a logician!"
    "A what?"
    “A logician. I'll tell you: Do you have an aquarium? "
    "No."
    "Gay pig!"

Resolutions for less nerdy contemporaries

  1. Not entirely politically correct, as the joke plays with a mental illness: the addiction to constantly stealing something.
  2. A gigabyte (GB) stands for exactly 1,024 megabytes (MB) and not just 1,000MB, as is often wrongly assumed. So the new band doesn't have a gigabyte yet.
  3. This joke alludes to the German physicist Werner Heisenberg. The Heisenberg uncertainty principle named after him states that either the location or the speed of a particle can be determined. But never both at the same time.
  4. Entomologists study insects. Etymologists, on the other hand, are familiar with the origin, history and meaning of words.
  5. In English, the caps lock key is called "Capslock". It has the same effect on the computer keyboard as if the shift key is held down. “Shift” sounds like the colloquial verb “ship”, which can be translated here as “rain”.
  6. The chemical abbreviations for a combination of oxygen (O) and magnesium (Mg) add up to OMg. In the chat language of the internet you can also read the abbreviation as OMG. Then it stands for “Oh my God” and symbolizes great astonishment.
  7. The ancient Romans had a number system based on letters. Roman five is written as V. This is similar to the victory sign or two outstretched fingers.
  8. The programmer took his wife's instructions as a literal if-then rule and only applied it to bread.
  9. Surrealism is characterized by bizarre and unrealistic images. The answer to the question asked is as pointless as the pictures appear.
  10. A neutron precisely indicates that it is not charged. It has no electrical charge.
  11. The listener's reply is technically a double affirmation. In reality, however, the comment, with its sarcasm, expresses the exact opposite.
  12. This joke plays with clichés. A common saying is that women talk about men in bars. The Bechdel test by Alison Bechdel examines stereotypes of female characters in films.
  13. Ivan Pavlov is the namesake for the Pavlovian reflex. This was shown in the conditioning of a dog, to which he always gave food in connection with a ringing bell. After a few repetitions, just tinkling the bell was enough to cause the dog to salivate. The joke shows that conditioning works for humans too.
  14. The last joke takes the logical conclusions of the beginning ad absurdum, since the conclusion is greatly shortened at the end.

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[Photo Credit: NotionPic by Shutterstock.com]
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December 15, 2020Author: Anja Rassek

Anja Rassek studied, among other things, German language and literature at the WWU in Münster. She worked for community radio and a publisher. Here she devotes herself to topics related to the office, everyday work and studies.

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