Is it bad to have a boyfriend

Often just not in the mood for a friend

So I'll tell you a little bit about myself now, maybe that will help you ;-)
I'm actually a very freedom-loving person and generally not incredibly “clingy” (that shouldn't be an attack, etc.). I need a lot of time for myself, seeing it every day would drive me crazy. Constant texting would also be my horror. I'm not a huge fan of the whole contracting subject either. And also a hideous sleeping partner. I can't sleep when someone makes sleep noises, cuddles up to me ...
With my ex-boyfriend, these were all big problems. I really liked him a lot. We got on really well, had the same sense of humor and many of the same views. And then at some point exactly what you are describing crept in. I couldn't sleep with him, it annoyed me because he snored and wanted to sleep wrapped around each other. I felt increasingly “uncomfortable” around him, had the feeling that I had to organize our get-together. I felt pressured. And at some point I realized that I was hurting both of us with it and broke up. During our relationship, I already met someone else who, to date, has been nothing more than a loose buddy to me. Well, then somehow it sparked (in retrospect I had to admit to myself that this happened much earlier ...) and suddenly I wanted to see him much more often. I always felt great with him, was always happy and nervous. I was able to sleep great with him. And never had the feeling of having to bring "more", conversations just ran by themselves. I still needed time for myself and still slept best on my own, but there were worlds in between.

Well, a lot of blabla, what I actually want to say: When you have such doubts, it sounds less to me that you are just like that, but that there is a lack of feelings. I don't want to accuse you of anything, remote diagnoses are not that easy either. At the time, my girlfriend asked me if I had feelings about my ex that were comparable to those of others. That helped me a lot in my decision. Try to get inside yourself and really get clear about your feelings.